mr_slymme (mr_slymme) wrote in hagridscock,
mr_slymme
mr_slymme
hagridscock

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With the final book, old Mr. Slymme has been rooting through the dustbins in the coffee shop where old JK likes to write. I discovered the original name for her last book was Harry Potter and His Friends Die Unspeakable Deaths. I guess someone decided it was not as marketable as Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I also came across a page, crumpled and tossed away. It was fairly brief, and here it is:



Hagrid’s End
By Mr. Slymme

Hagrid lay where he had fallen, his eyes staring straight ahead, though they no longer saw. He knew death had been close, but this was still quite unexpected. His half-giant body, once full of incredible vitality and vitriol now quickly lost all its functionality. His enormous cock lay shriveled and flaccid. At least his mind still worked, for the moment.
“Cor, yer really in it this time, Rubeus,” Hagrid thought. “No way yer gonner get out ‘a this. Guess they’ll miss me when I’m gone, which won’t be long now. Perhaps I’ll be with Myrtle again…or Lilly, my little Lil?”
A smile would have crossed his lips if he could move at all. An expulsion of gas thundered from his arse.
“When I think back on all I’ve done…all my accomplishments, I think that I must have shagged ten thousand girls, and my only regret is that I won’t be able ta shag a thousand more.”
And with that, he was gone.



And with that, so is Mr. Slymme. To all my favorite, special friends, I bid adieu. May all your shags be worthy of Hagrid.
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