By Mr. Slymme
Hagrid sat in his cottage in his large chair doing a crossword puzzle in the Daily Prophet. The Lavender Lads’ “Sunday Afternoon” played lazily on the phonograph. Hagrid pondered the interconnected words through his half-spectacles tied around his neck and grunted.
“This can’t be right…”
“What’s wrong,” Snape asked, sitting up and pausing for a moment from snipping Hagrid’s toenails.
“I need a four-letter word fer a woman, and I know it ends in ‘unt.’”
Snape thought for a moment and said with a sneer, “Aunt?”
“’Aunt?’ Let’s see, erase the ‘c’ and add an ‘a.’ That’s it. Now seven across makes sense. Thanks.”
“My pleasure,” Snape hissed and returned to clipping the very large and overgrown toenails.
“Really Severus, yer don’t have ta do that. I mean I’m right grateful yer offered and all…”
“Nonsense. The entire faculty must be impeccable in their hygiene. Since you are so busy with the animals, I surmised you do not have enough time to tend to your own ablutions. Now come on. It’s time for your bath.”
Hagrid put down The Prophet and stood up. Snape led him over to a large tub in the middle of the room. Hagrid removed his clothes, freeing his enormous cock. He climbed into the round, wooden basin and sat down.
“That’s right, Hagrid. Wash yourself clean.”
Hagrid splashed some water over his shoulders. It was warm, but after a few moments, he got up.
“All finished, Severus.”
“Come now man, you have hardly started. Here, let me help you.”
The last two words slowly dragged out of Snape’s lips. He removed his black robes and clothing, revealing alabaster skin. Then he climbed into the tub.
“Turn around, Hagrid.”
Hagrid turned his back to Snape, who picked up a soapy sponge and started to wash the half-giant’s back. He marveled at its size and firmness, especially considering how old Hagrid was. Snape made circular motions with the sponge and slowly made his way down to Hagrid’s hairy arse. Then he used a bucket to scoop up the water and pour it over Hagrid’s back, watching every trickle of the waterfall it created. Snape then used a finger to probe Hagrid’s anus.
“Whoa! Yer really don’t ‘ave to do that. I can manage.”
“Not from the looks of things here. Perhaps you should get a bidet?”
Snape then started to scrub Hagrid’s sides. He lifted his arms and Snape reached around, gently kissing the now clean muscular skin.
“’Ere now, Severus, wot’s to do?”
“Sorry, I was blowing off a piece of stubborn filth.”
Snape looked around at the shining white walls of the circular room and then stared up the seemingly never-ending tower. He resumed his task and made his way to Hagrid’s front. There he was faced with Hagrid’s cock.
“Do you know how much dirt a man can get in his uncircumcised penis?”
“Never looked meself. Always left that ter the ladies. Heh-heh.”
Snape took a firm hold of Hagrid’s cock and started to scrub it. Hagrid stiffened as if embarrassed but trying not to show it.
“Per’aps I should get Madame Pomfrey ta do that, eh Severus?”
“Don’t be silly. She is a woman and would not know what to do.”
Snape gently dropped Hagrid’s cock and started to scrub his chest. Hagrid’s penis was quite hard by now and rising in the way of Snape’s washing. Snape’s prick had hardened as well. Snape reached up to Hagrid’s beard with both hands and pulled their faces together.
Hagrid looked alarmed and stared at Snape wide-eyed.
And with that, barely a whisper, Snape kissed Hagrid on the lips. He let go of the beard and worked his arms around the hirsute naked form. Hagrid did not pull away, and after a moment, his arms wrapped around the soft, white flesh of the former deatheater. It was a moment that Snape wanted to last forever.
As the warm water splashed slightly against them, the door to the room opened and Dumbledore stood there, staring…and smiling.
“I am glad it has finally come to pass,” the headmaster said.
Snape looked at Dumbledore, smiled back, and said, “And I am so glad you are no longer dead.”
Dumbledore smiled and nodded gently.
As Snape turned back towards Hagrid and saw the overwhelming love in his eyes, a thought came.
Dumbledore was dead…Snape himself had killed him, as they had planned…so he could not be here. And weren’t they in Hagrid’s hut mere moments ago? Now they were in a bright tower. Snape realized this was all a dream. And soon, he would wake up and return to dark reality he had so long left behind.
But he would enjoy this dream while it lasted. After all, isn’t that how life is anyway?
With that parting thought, Snape turned back to Hagrid and kissed him, allowing his tongue to explore the giant mouth, until the room started to fade into grayness.